They often feel like conversation falls short of conveying their deepest ideas and feelings, so they turn to creative expression. INFJs are deeply moved by beauty, whether it’s a masterfully designed environment, a breath-taking work of art, or a song that touches their heart. 3. ! Sit down with paper and pen and start asking yourself questions. Se is in tune with the sensory world, with real-world, tangible data. Essentially, that meant putting myself first. Take a free personality assessment.). As a result, many INFJs feel unhappy, discouraged, and even depressed. We are especially happy when other people recognize ou contributions and make us feel valuable. Their easy empathy and kindness can also benefit the workplace a lot. As an INFJ, it doesn't matter to me if everyone I know remembers my birthday or not, but I do want the people who are the most special to me remember. Their plans tend to be fairly loose and flexible, however, because they are intuitives, not sensors. 3. There are 8 things an INFJ needs in order to lead a happy life. When you do so, INFJ, you’ll find that happiness often joins along the way. We have… First of all, self-acceptance is not the same as resignation. I myself have struggled with this. One book on this topic that I’ve been enjoying recently is Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman. Being an INFJ means that we’re very in-tune with the emotions of others, and we seek harmony in our relationships. Yes, yes, and yes! For example, instead of completely rejecting an invitation, I might go to a social gathering but leave early. One of the toughest things about being an INFJ is that (like other introverted intuitive types) we crave a bigger purpose — but what is this purpose? Having more information on your logical fallacies and mental biases can better inform your subjective judgement of things. However, we often forget about the remaining two functions, Introverted Thinking (Ti) and Extroverted Sensing (Se). INFJs are known to be organized and enjoy having a plan, but there’s a part of us that enjoys spontaneity as well. It’s not easy for other types to wrap their mind around the INFJ. Learn to be comfortable with it. … Is it by giving love to others? When we’re able to exercise all four functions well, we’ll be better able to make informed decisions and manage our emotions, which are important factors in cultivating happiness. So be sure to pull that INFJ into group conversations with small comments. Laugh at silly quirks you have, enjoy and celebrate yourself during your birthday. If you make a promise, we will believe you. The more unknowns they find, the more excited they get. For ENTPs specifically, you all are great at commanding a crowd. Been together for a little under a year. INFJs will not be content living a shallow life. INFJ’s are highly idealistic and will always dream big when it comes to your relationship. Another simple exercise to try is to close your eyes and imagine any thoughts leaving your mind. (Not sure of your personality type? 19. Did you enjoy this article? INFJs will work hard to please their partner, and want to find ways to provide for them and bring them joy. Unlike INFPs, who live a more bohemian lifestyle, INFJs crave beautiful, high-quality things. Stay true to your word. Without intimate self-knowledge, INFJs will feel lost and aimless. (What’s your personality type? Rather than “social” contact, INFJs need “human” contact — that is, mutual human understanding. Practice self-care, through an extra long shower. INFJ Leadership: How the INFJ Handles Managing Others While leadership roles are important, not everyone is suited to these positions. They can’t just punch in and punch out; in order to be happy, they must be working to help others and ultimately make the world a better place. Jenn started Introvert, Dear because she wanted to write about what it was like being an introvert living in an extrovert's world. Sure, they can do routine tasks, but they must see how they fit into the bigger picture. You can also read books on how the mind works. Don’t be too rigid and avoid the temptation to impose your structure on the INFP. Let’s break them down. Is it by knowing that you lived every day the best you could? They see the world in a way that not very many people do and must take special care to ensure they’re setting themselves up for success with living a happy life. 3. She has appeared on the BBC and in Buzzfeed and Glamour magazine. Because there are not many people in the world like them, INFJs often feel like perpetual outsiders. Ideas are fascinating – they can change the world. One of the nicknames of INFJ is “Idealist” and that’s for a good reason. INFJs have vivid imaginations and need a creative outlet to be happy. They may turn to journaling, travel, literature, and art to further their self-knowledge. Develop your Ti by examining and strengthening your inner mental framework. Meaningful introspection. Little Things That Make INFJ Happy. I actually know another INFJ in my classes and I've been going to school with her for the past 5 years!!!! Her story is inspirational by defeating negativity with raw will power and innovation. Make your INFP a priority. Here’s What Each Introverted Myers-Briggs Type Really Wants in Life, The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World, How HSPs Can Deal With Negative Emotions (And Actually Feel Better), 3 Fictional Characters You’ll Relate to If You’re an INFP, The Challenges of the Introvert-Extrovert Relationship (and How to Deal), 6 Problems All Shy Introverts Will Understand, Why Self-Employment Might Be the Best Career Path for Introverts, 5 Ways for Introverts to Turn Small Talk Into ‘Deep’ Talk, 6 Things My Cat Taught Me About Being an Introvert, Introvert/Extrovert Test {Fast Easy Quiz}. 1. 1. INFJs are old souls who understand human nature perhaps better than any other personality type. INFJs are the most frequent visitors to Myers-Briggs® web sites because they love digging into the theory of personality (as well as many other theories) as deeply as possible. INFJs are naturally warm and something about them encourages others to trust them, so in the workplace they’re usually everyone’s first choice when they need someone to talk to. If you are special to an INFJ, your friend would have probably told you. INFJs work hard to understand oth… It feels good from our end, arranging things for other folks, but I can tell you from personal experience, it’s not fun to be on the other end of that energy. Did it mean not always being the overly enthusiastic one because it was tiring for me to keep up? What I mean is something you have already planned that you know your INFJ will love doing. There are INFPs out there who give up and who reject their own innocence in order to protect themselves, but those INFPs are also less happy. Infj Mbti. Take heart, my dear INFJs. It allows them to clear away the chatter of the world and focus on their own thoughts and feelings. Subscribe to our INFJ-only newsletter here. This makes sense given how few of us there are compared to other personalities. INFJs are portrayed to be sweet and happy people who are always there to help those around them. Jenn is a contributor to Psychology Today, HuffPost, Susan Cain’s Quiet Revolution, Upworthy, The Mighty, The Muse, Motherly, and a number of other outlets. They may hop from one career to the next, “try on” different identities, or enter into relationships with people who are vastly different from them in the search for who they are. They want to hear the secret thoughts you’re afraid to utter. INFJs have a dark and twisty side that comes out from time to time. Instead of putting in enormous effort to be perceived as “warm” and “friendly,” I might stay interested but reserve my full energy for only those who I want to build/maintain a friendship with. INFJs usually become everyone’s favorite confidant. When we’re able to exercise all four functions well, we’ll be better able to make informed decisions and manage our emotions, which are important factors in cultivating happiness. If you have any issues with your INFP partner, don’t discuss them publicly. Whenever something negative happens, particularly in relationships, INFJs tend to blame themselves. For the INFJ this can actually be a lot of pressure when they are in love, since they want to live up to these expectations they set for themselves. INFJs are known for their primary cognitive functions, Introverted Intuition (Ni) and Extroverted Feeling (Fe). Self-blame. Make sure to provide them ample time to respond and be an “active listener” by inquiring about their answers. INFJs are not the type to just go along with the crowd. Some people are meant to lead, while others prefer to follow or even just remain on their own. 1. Help With An INFJ* Hi. We want to make sure they are ok and have everything they need. But don’t worry, INFJs will never use your vulnerabilities against you. Still feel excited to see her every time. 35. Throughout my discovery, I’ve come to find there are a handful of things that I and other INFJs need to be happy. Sometimes they are even mistaken for extroverts. When I realized that people-pleasing was not benefiting me in any way, I made an intentional decision to break free from it. The INFJ personality is thought to be the rarest of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types, making up only 1-2 percent of the population. So, please do reveal your inner world. Help your INFP to do tedious chores, such as cleaning. A sense of purpose. Rather, alone time is as nourishing as food and water to the INFJ. INFJs often surprise the people in their lives by withdrawing from time to time. So far so good, we really get each other and our sexual relationship is good. If a concept is … INTP here dating an INFJ. Suddenly, the INFJ has “turned off.” They have shut themselves away, alone, and can’t be bothered by anyone or anything. It means that you start empowering yourself by acknowledging that you, too, have needs, and you actually make the effort to meet these needs. My cats when they rub up against me, sit in my lap and purr contently. If you put in the work to find out about yourself and the things that make you happy — if you actually live according to your own sense of identity — you’ll find that external factors no longer have the same power over your mood as they once did. When they feel appreciated by the people around them, and when they feel loved. To answer this, we have to turn inward and look deeper within ourselves. Now that you know what resonates with you on a deeper level — and what makes you feel alive, passionate, and encouraged — you’re better equipped to pursue the things and people that matter, and back away from the ones that don’t. So, INFJ, remember that a simple change in your environment may be enough to boost your happiness. By “surprise,” I don’t mean changing plans last minute. What an INFJ Needs to Be Happy 1. INFJs are just waiting to dive into your inner world and learn more about what makes you tick. If you’re anything like me, you’re always ruminating on how to be happy. Is it by becoming a great author? I got out of the house. We are happy when we are doing something that is important to those around us, something helpful and useful. They especially love helping other people understand their complicated, messy emotions and grow. Several years ago when I was taking classes for my master’s degree, teaching, and coaching volleyball all at one time, I was getting sick 3 to 4 times per year. This exercise may force you to confront something that you’ve been running away from, but have courage and write it down no matter how insignificant or unrealistic it may seem to others. The Oxford Learner’s Dictionary defines happiness as: We can call happiness a pleasurable state of mind, but at the core of it, happiness is an emotion. INFJs need at least one person in their life who “gets” them — or at least makes an effort. She strives for balance in her personal growth journey, and believes that the world can be made a better place one person at a time. 33. Mine is somewhat different. Don’t try to make an INFJ jealous, just don’t, she will not respond like you want her to. Try solving some logic puzzles in your free time to exercise your mind. And the world needs what INFJs have to give. INFJs love being generous toward the people in their lives and making them happy. I am so happy!! If, like me, you struggle with people-pleasing, take baby steps if you don’t think you can make a big change all at once. How to Care for an INFJ 1. Without meaningful interaction, INFJs will wither. Accepting your INFJ personality doesn’t mean that you should stop improving yourself or be successful in areas of life that matters to you such as relationship and career.. Just because a person is born with an … Don’t let their quiet, easy-going demeanor fool you. Thanks to their Introverted Intuition function, they excel at predicting what people will do, and they easily “see behind the curtain” in any given situation. Your INFJ is very idealistic and principled. Do: Be serious with your affections. Similar to #6, INFJs tend to need their environments somewhat organized. The type of happiness that is stable and lasting comes from within, not from friends, social media, or any external source or validation. I realized that a cheerful disposition and always going with what others wanted made them like me more, but it was extremely exhausting to adopt such a front all the time. The INFJ is also said to be one of the most misunderstood types. How you’re really feeling, even though you said you’re “doing fine.” INFJs love discussing personal, big-idea topics. They need to learn to trust in their own knowledge and understanding, rather than allowing others to make them feel guilty because of this. What are the best ways for an INFJ to make and keep great friends? Otherwise, the INFJ might withdraw back into their shell. They are free-thinkers who are not afraid to (quietly) go their own way. When others actively seek the ENFJs affection and approval. Paying your bills and buying things you want is nice. Yoga is a great way to practice Se because it requires you to concentrate on your breathing and transitions in poses. They chronically put other people’s needs ahead of their own. But there are some themes I've noticed in my personal & professional relationships with other INFJs, so here are some tips to navigate life as an INFJ: 1) You have to make yourself known. They are probably not the types to alphabetize their bookshelves (attending to tiny details in their environment drains the intuitive INFJ), but they do need things generally picked up, put away, and clutter-free. They want to make the object of their objection happy in any and every way possible. Stay flexible. If you need us to go against our ideals or principles to make you happy, this can cause us a great deal of internal turmoil and tension. Don’t: Try and make her jealous because she will think you have no interest in her, and will promptly drop you for being so fickle. Understand that they are sort of strange but do not treat them like a weirdo. An INFJ and an ENTP personality pairing make a great couple because the ENTP personality is more of an extrovert, but are still compassionate and understanding. 170. This article contains affiliate links. Develop your Se by engaging in activities that teach you to come into the present moment fully. You'll often find people with this personality type … We only recommend products we truly believe in. INFJs are among the most social of introverts. Happiness — the elusive thing that everyone wants, yet many of us struggle to get and maintain. This applies in the workplace as much as it does out on the street. Encourage their quest for self-discovery. Add our “F” energy to that, all that mushy desire to make sure everyone is happy, and we can end up really overdoing it. That’s because these types FEED off of complexity – especially psychological complexity. A creative outlet. People who are patient with them, and aren’t overly demanding. Not everyone will understand the INFJ, and unfortunately, most people won’t even try. When listening to an INFJ, you may have to wait past the awkward silence stage. Thus, what we should strive for isn’t to continually exist in a state of happiness, but to work to invite happiness into our lives through balance, knowing our purpose, and living consciously with intention. INFJs are complex people with many layers. But those niceties will probably not be enough for the INFJ who is yearning to champion a cause. This will only stress out your INFJ. Take the chance to probe deep and write down what genuinely brings you joy, peace, and happiness. Absolutely. But we need to put more effort into Ti and Se. Simply working to pay their bills will leave them feeling empty and restless. Sometimes they question their own sanity, because they see and understand things that others don’t. Although they can enjoy social, more adventurous dates, an ideal date for INFJs are places where you two can spend time one-on-one. Treat yourself to the movies or a … Simply working to pay their bills will leave them feeling empty and restless. They can’t just punch in and punch out; in order to be happy, they must be working to help others and ultimately make the world a better place. This is particularly difficult for extroverts to do. INFJ’s need new ideas as much as others need food and water. You aren’t living your life’s purpose. Take time to appreciate yourself. Surprise us. INFJs do not need as much structure as SJ types like ISFJs or ESTJs. Let’s take a look at some of the INFJ weaknesses. INFJs tend to like minimalist environments, because too much stuff in sight can overwhelm their already busy minds. We only recommend products we truly believe in. How to make a INFJ happy 1. From a young age, INFJs are obsessed with understanding human nature. Tell yourself to catch the next conscious thought that arises. While this can help us navigate relationships and forge connections with anyone, conversely, it can turn us into people-pleasers and leave us with an unstable sense of self. Know thyself, INFJ. You might find that the attention placed on catching that thought keeps you alert and fully in the now. 32. Vernessa is a twenty-something hailing from the sunny island of Singapore. Because they make their admiration so visible, people on the receiving end may feel uncomfortable and pressured. Here are 12 signs that an INFJ is unhealthy. Signs of an Unhealthy INFJ. People who will listen without judging and try to see the world from the INFJ’s unique perspective — even if it’s just a glimpse. They function best when they are in control of their life, environment, priorities, and schedule. 34. mindfully thinking about your own mortality, Oxford Learner’s Dictionary defines happiness, How to Cultivate Meaning in Your Work and Life as an INFJ, The Surprising Dark Side of the INFJ Personality Type, The ‘Kryptonite’ That Secretly Blindsides Each Introverted Myers-Briggs Personality Type, How HSPs Can Deal With Negative Emotions (And Actually Feel Better), 3 Fictional Characters You’ll Relate to If You’re an INFP, The Challenges of the Introvert-Extrovert Relationship (and How to Deal), 6 Problems All Shy Introverts Will Understand, Why Self-Employment Might Be the Best Career Path for Introverts, 5 Ways for Introverts to Turn Small Talk Into ‘Deep’ Talk, 6 Things My Cat Taught Me About Being an Introvert, Introvert/Extrovert Test {Fast Easy Quiz}, The state of being satisfied that something is good or right. In addition to being insightful, INFJs are creative individuals who possess the gift of language. Think: A weekly calendar with a few things penned in, not an hour-by-hour day planner. Feels like the best relationship I've been in (I'm 30, so I've been in a few). My ENTP bf does this for me. In a society that doesn’t understand the INFJ’s way, what does this unique personality need in life to be happy? When I help someone and they are grateful and they let me know. This is true for other personality types as well, but especially for the INFJ, which is thought to be the rarest of the 16 Myers-Briggs types. This is an admirable quality; if only more people were as selfless as the INFJ! They yearn to not only know others on a deep level, but also themselves. Now she's on a mission: to let introverts everywhere know it's okay to be who they are. 18. 31. I lived on antibiotics. Sometimes even they don’t understand themselves. And, INFJs see the world in a very unique way — a way that most people can’t understand or relate to. Living up to the INFJ standard may seem so hard that some people may begin to avoid them. But hear me out: Putting yourself first doesn’t mean you become an unkind person who disregards the needs of others. 4. Learning to be happy within their own personal space and understand themselves better, is definitely going to help the INFJ feel stronger and happier with who they are. Like what you’re reading? There are happy INFJ’s, and for a rational “normalish” approach to how to obtain this I recommend the writings of Holly Robertson. This means to think and act consciously based on your values and your purpose in life, thus living “with intention.” It’s about learning how to make better decisions so you have fewer regrets and are happier. 2. I discovered the test this year as an 8th grader and after a lot of research I knew that she was one too. Be nice to them ( show that you really care, not just being polite). I asked her to take the test, she did, and is an INFJ!' Simply working to pay their bills will leave them feeling empty and restless. One of the challenges of being an INFJ is that you love to help others, particularly through nonjudgemental listening, open acceptance, and thoughtful advice, but you seldom open up and allow your true self to be known. Sign up for our newsletters to get more stories like this. Please be mindful of our ideals and principles and avoid asking us to go against them. Infj Mbti Intj And Infj Infj Type Enfj Extroverted Introvert Rarest Personality Type Infj … Develop your Ti by examining and strengthening your inner mental framework. When I wrote my own life purpose list, I had a guiding question in mind: “What would people feel/think about me if I died?” Yes, that question may be a bit morbid, but even some psychologists believe that mindfully thinking about your own mortality will make your life better.